Thursday, November 5, 2009

And then....

Its hidden. In every corner..of my mind. The broken the torn tattered peices of what was a simple girl. She came she saw she went. Fight or flight. I want to fly. With no fear. Fearless. I am not. I am shaken with fear. I refuse to be buried by a thought of what could be. I refuse to lose anymore so I'm jumping. I'm so one sided in my journey. I have this strong belief that there is a purpose. That there is a time when you see what is standing before you..so close to touch but cannot reach. Right there....right there. But so hidden. To many times. To random for anyone to understand. So I sit. I wait for the silver lining. Rip through the clouds....I hate grey. Not the color, the meaning. If I had a choice I would choose the unknown. To fall with out knowing. The walls are a joke. I am that girl that's up and down, in and out, around but square. The girl everyone understand but just doesn't "get". I say one thing and mean something different. I put myself in to corners and kick my way out and reach for the closest open arms to cry in. I sing out loud, at the top of my lungs..I live through music and writing. I keep my mouth shut at the wrong times, only when I should speak up do I cower. In my head I a m strong, I am not a coward. I talk...a lot. I fill silence with meaningless conversation. But my words are worth it. My voice, my thoughts they are all for something.

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