Thursday, November 5, 2009

And then....

Its hidden. In every corner..of my mind. The broken the torn tattered peices of what was a simple girl. She came she saw she went. Fight or flight. I want to fly. With no fear. Fearless. I am not. I am shaken with fear. I refuse to be buried by a thought of what could be. I refuse to lose anymore so I'm jumping. I'm so one sided in my journey. I have this strong belief that there is a purpose. That there is a time when you see what is standing before close to touch but cannot reach. Right there....right there. But so hidden. To many times. To random for anyone to understand. So I sit. I wait for the silver lining. Rip through the clouds....I hate grey. Not the color, the meaning. If I had a choice I would choose the unknown. To fall with out knowing. The walls are a joke. I am that girl that's up and down, in and out, around but square. The girl everyone understand but just doesn't "get". I say one thing and mean something different. I put myself in to corners and kick my way out and reach for the closest open arms to cry in. I sing out loud, at the top of my lungs..I live through music and writing. I keep my mouth shut at the wrong times, only when I should speak up do I cower. In my head I a m strong, I am not a coward. I talk...a lot. I fill silence with meaningless conversation. But my words are worth it. My voice, my thoughts they are all for something.

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